Finding the beauty in situations that seem unfair

I just had the amazing experience of being able to spend five weeks of my summer with the children in Cuenca, Ecuador! It was incredible. I learned so much about love, patience, friendship, loyalty, and trust. Each one of the children I met was going through their own challenges but still had the capacity to love so deeply, especially the children in the special needs orphanage run by OSSO. I hadn't had much experience working with special needs kids before my trip to ecuador and to be quite honest, the first week was pretty hard. I was getting used to speaking spanish all the time, doing seemingly (or what I thought were) monotonous tasks. Little did I know how much I would cherish what I thought were the monotonous tasks and that they would turn into some of my most cherished memories.

During the first couple weeks as I was learning each of the children's stories, it was so easy to think about how unfair life has been for these children. They don't have loving parents. They don't have perfect minds or bodies. Many of them will never know what life outside of an orphanage is like. As time went on however, I learned to appreciate their different circumstances. I realized how much I had to learn from them. Although life seemed so unfair, there was no denying the beauty of the experiences I was having with these children. Without the opposition they were facing in their lives, I would never have had the chance to learn from them. I firmly believe there is beauty in opposition, and I saw it every single day with these kids.

One experience in particular that I treasure was with a little boy named Anthony. Anthony is three years old and has cerebral palsy along with some other disabilities. Although he is three years old, he looks like he could be about 9 months old. His body is so tiny and fragile. Part of that is due to the fact that for most of his life Anthony has not been able to get the nutrients he needs due to not being able to keep his food down. The doctors told OSSO that if Anthony did not receive a feeding tube, he would die. Anthony went in for surgery to receive his feeding tube, and since there were only three of us volunteers that spoke spanish fluently, we were asked to take overnight shifts at the hospital since Anthony always had to have a member of the OSSO staff with him.

I remember when I was asked to spend the night at the hospital with Anthony. I hadn't even met this little boy yet. My first reaction was thinking about what a long night it would be, and that I was a little nervous about spending a whole night by myself with a baby in a foreign hospital. But I agreed to take the shift (with the promise that I would get the next day morning shift off so I could sleep, yay!) As I arrived at the hospital with Suzanne and Kirsten and entered Anthony's room, I was surprised at how fragile he looked! He really was so tiny. Kirsten and Suzanne gave me instructions and then left. As I was left by myself with Anthony I felt the special spirit of this little boy. I stood by his bedside as he slept and stroked his face and cried as I thought how much this sweet little boy deserved a mother. I thought back on all my medical experiences and how my mom was by my side through all of them, and what a comfort that was to me. Anthony didn't have that. Tears ran down my cheeks as I thought how unfair this was. Where was this little boys mother I wondered? Did she realize what a special little boy she had given birth to?

Because Anthony's body was getting used to being fed through a feeding tube, he would start to cough and would throw up saliva. I spent the whole night by Anthony's side, holding him up as he would begin to cough and then cleaning up his saliva from his hair and his face. As the night went on I began to see the beauty in this experience. True, it would be more fair if this little boy had his mother by his side, but then I would have never gotten to have this experience. I was so glad I was able to be Anthony's "mom" for the night. My time in the hospital with Anthony created a special place in my heart for this sweet boy. I found myself sneaking in to his room during the weeks following just to hold his hand and talk to him. These experiences brought me so much joy. I love this little boy so much and all of the children I was able to work with at OSSO. Below are some other beautiful experiences I was able to have with the kids:

-Blowing bubbles with Laura, the 20 year old girl with cerebral palsy and microcephaly. When I would accidentally touch the bubble wand to her nose she would start to giggle (cutest giggle EVER) and then I would start to laugh, which led to both of us giggling uncontrollably

-Working with Roman, the 26 year old boy with cerebral palsy. Roman always has a serious expression on his face but when you are doing an activity and he finally decides to smile it's a good day :)

-Reading scriptures with Martin and Christian every night, and feeling the spirit so strong I thought my heart would burst.

-The last night I was in Cuenca and we went to read scriptures with Martin and Christian, and when we talked in Christian crawled over to me and grabbed my legs in a bear hug. :)
-Juanita, the teen at HML, another orphanage in the city, who would scout me out each time we visited just so I would sing "London Bridges" and "I love you, you love me" to her in english.
-Reading stories at night with 5 year old Jhon and the other kids in Casa Algeria.
-Reading the Froggy books with 8 year old Christian who has Autism and when we turned the page to see a picture of an open window, his eyes go really big as he exclaimed, "Ay! La ventana esta abierta!" (oh! The window is open!) to which I replied yes...and he finished by saying "Tengo miedo!" (I'm scared!) and all I could do was laugh because it was so cute and made no sense why he was scared of an open window.


There are so many more beautiful experiences I had with each of the children I was able to work with. I'm so grateful I was able to find the beauty in these situations that at times seemed sad and unfair. I know that God is good and He loves us, whether we were born here in the USA with a loving family, or in Ecuador with an imperfect body living our days in an orphanage. He is aware of His children. One day all of these imperfect, unjust situations will be made right because our older brother decided to die for us. For that I am grateful.

Praying so God can answer

If you're like me, you feel like you're constantly saying prayers that receive no answer. Sometimes it's difficult to receive an answer to things I desire. I was talking to my sister about this and she suggested an article she had just read called "How to Pray in a Way God Can Answer". I was up early this morning due to not being able to sleep so I read it. Such a good article! It is so important that we align our will with God's as we pray. At times it can seem difficult to do that. HOW might we do that you ask? Here is a suggestion from the article:

• My desire+
• "but if not"+
• Godly desire=
• praying for something God can grant

I'm going to try this and see if I'm able to get better answers to my prayers. I'll post about my results in a few weeks:)

Answered prayers

Let me just start out this post by saying: I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND WITHOUT MY CRUTCHES TODAY!

This morning I got up and decided to try it out. I limped to the bathroom and did alright. Then I finished getting ready and limped around the house without crutches. Then I had to walk out to my car which was parked a couple houses down. I made it there and back with NO CRUTCHES! It's truly a miracle. I couldn't walk on Monday. Yesterday I made a weak attempt to walk without them. Today I'm WALKING AROUND, UP AND DOWN STAIRS without crutches. God is good. That's all I have to say.

I know that God answers prayers. I know that many people have been praying for a swift recovery and this is nothing but an answer to those prayers. So grateful <3

Tender Mercies

Today I went back to work after taking yesterday off to let my knee rest. I misplaced my keys so I was using Missy's key to drive the car. I dropped her off at work and then drove to where I work in Orem. I knew I needed my key to get into my office but I remembered there is a spare key in one of the classrooms, so I wasn't too worried about not being able to get into my office. I got to work and crutched myself to the gate. That's when I remembered I needed my gate key! I laughed at myself for forgetting. I texted Gabe really quick (the Health Specialist who works in the same office as me) to see when he was going to get there. Luckily he got there 10 minutes later. He let me in and then we got to work. Well kinda. Gabe and I talk a lot so really it was talk for like 20 minutes and then work for 30 and then talk for another 10...and then repeat. I feel blessed that I enjoy the people I work with.    That really is a huge blessing!

At 4 o'clock I had a girl come in to do an application for her son. She's only 7 months older than me, so I felt like I was talking to a friend. I love what I do because I get to meet different people and hear their stories. This particular girl hasn't graduated from high school yet and is just working at Savers. She has two kids and is living with her parents. The thought that I was her same age and had a college degree crossed my mind. All of a sudden I felt extremely blessed to be where I am. Since graduating from high school I've served an LDS mission, graduated from college, have a full time job, and am going to Ecuador in a few short weeks! I've had so many experiences. My heart went out to this young mother. It must be hard to be in that position. I really hope her child is accepted into the program so that I can work with her next year. She has a lot of potential :)

Alsooo...when I got home I put my crutches down to see if I could get around without them. I was able to limp around for a little bit! WOOHOO! It's only day 2 and I'm already able to walk a little bit! Give me 18 days and I'll be good as new! God is so good you guys. I'm glad this isn't going to keep me from going to Ecuador like I thought. I was really nervous on Sunday. I'm grateful for priesthood blessings and the promise I received that my knee would heal fully in the Lord's timing. It looks like his timing is quicker than I expected.

Inspiration for today: "Trust in God and believe in good things to come." Jeffery R. Holland

Timing

Sometimes life just stinks.

Sometimes things happen at the worst possible time and all you can do is laugh at how ironic life is. On Friday I went hot tubbing with my roommate and our friend and I must have stayed in too long because when I got out I passed out, which resulted in me injuring my left side pretty badly when I fell. I thought I cracked a rib but since it's feeling better I don't think it's cracked. All weekend as I was telling different people the story I kept saying "I'm just so grateful it wasn't my leg or ankle since I'm going to Ecuador in 3 weeks!" As some of you know, I have a bone condition called Osteogenesis Imperfecta which results in my bones being softer than normal, meaning while someone else might get a sprain, I tend to break a bone. Well, what do you know. The Lord sure has a funny sense of humor. Missy and I went to Steven and Debi's for dinner yesterday and as we were leaving I went to walk across their lawn and I stepped in a hole and hyperextended my knee pretty badly. All I could do was laugh because I literally had just finished telling them how grateful I was that I hadn't injured my leg or ankle on Friday when I passed out. The timing was just hilarious.

I thought I had torn my ACL or dislocated my knee but I'm pretty sure it's just hyperextended. I'm hoping for a miracle and that I will be able to walk on it by the time I go to Ecuador. I got a blessing from a couple of the boys next door and in the blessing I was promised that the injury would heal completely, although the length of recovery is unknown and would happen in the Lord's timing. I was told I just have to have faith. I can do that. Honestly, when I first heard the blessing I was convinced I wasn't gong to Ecuador anymore. That's what it sounded like! I know that the Lord knows me and my situation and that things will turn out they need to. I have faith that if it's the right thing, the Lord can perform a miracle and heal my knee before I go to Ecuador. But if not, I will still trust in Him and his promises. I was also told in my blessing that I need to pray to find out other ways I can use my body to serve others.

What I have learned this weekend is that sometimes life stinks. Sometimes the Lord doesn't prevent things from happening to us. But in the midst of it all, we have a loving Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ who sees us through all our disappointments and discouragements. We have to take what life gives us and roll with it. I love this quote from Marjorie Pay Hinckley:

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."